Eating for Two if You Are Pregnant.

“For every one of your cells, 10 microbes live inside you”


What’s up, buddies?”  Slide 3 in a “slide show” titled The 7 Biggest Mysteries of the Human Body


Consider the oft-heard declaration that pregnant females are eating for two.

I haven’t heard it said of males but here atop the Ozark Plateau of southern Missouri I do see many males who could easily pass as pregnant due to the enormous bulge above their belt-line thrusting forward to the point their belly meets people before they do.

Even if not pregnant all of us are eating for two…and many more!!!!



The question needing answered is how many cells that are part of what makes one whole human are wiggling and quivering and eating and defecating inside our bodies? Not the germs, parasites and various bacteria-types that are “along for the ride.”

“Which brings us to a comfortable estimate of “about 50 trillion, give or take a few trillion.”

How many cells are there in the human body?



“Bacterial cells are much smaller than human cells, and there are at least ten times as many bacteria as human cells in the body (approximately 1014 versus 1013). The mass of microorganisms are estimated to account for 1-3% total body mass.”

Human microbiome


Being smaller than “real” cells, the ones that work together more or less in harmony to make a walking, talking, fornicating and eating human critter such as you and that cute gal over there and that fat tub-o-lard engorging himself at the buffet and all those other folks;  though the non-human cells may outnumber by far our cells their being so much smaller results in their only taking up a small percentage of the whole that is a human body.


Are you single? Never had any kids you admit to spawning? Do you only need to garner enough food to feed yourself?

Are your friends with families jealous of you for not having to obtain enough food to feed those vile spawn, those fruit of the loins that require constant tending to?

Wait… pondering a bit I realize that those friends also have their own internal tribes requiring food just as you and I do, so ALL of us have to consume enough food to support our own cells and the huge number of non-human cells along for the ride.

So if others declare how fortunate you are for not having to feed younguns’ you can not use those freeloading parasitical cells as a rebuttal since those folks with kids also have their own cells to feed.


Some folks appear to be able to eat copious amounts of food and not become fat.

Is it possible they have more freeloading cells to feed?

Those non-human cells may consume calories that would be deposited as fat in folks with fewer ride-along cells.

Maybe having a doctor inject you with more parasitical non-human cells may be the next diet fad!!!!

Eat the same amount but lose weight that was stored as fat in the past.

Add enough cells and maybe you could eat even MORE and not gain weight.


Here’s another interesting article:


Microbe census maps out human body’s bacteria, viruses, other bugs
“…a detailed census of the myriad bacteria, yeasts, viruses and amoebas that live, eat, excrete, reproduce and die in or on us.”


In a way, each of us is a planet!!! We are the home to a huge herd of life forms!!!

Is it possible that undetectable to us that we are akin to bacteria by our swarming upon a minute speck of stuff inside the body of a creature immensely huge compared to us… maybe even our entire universe???!!!!



“Each of us is home to about 100 trillion microscopic life forms — a figure that’s about 10 times higher than the number of cells in the human body. In a 200-pound adult, these organisms can weigh a combined 2 to 6 pounds.”


Maybe it is time to start an organization to confront the collection branch of the USA federal government; the dreaded IRS, the Internal Revenue System.

Demand that the cellular interlopers within us can be considered as dependents and thus used as a deduction when preparing that yearly tax form!!!


I wonder what food-types those trespassing cells enjoy most?

The critters within our intestinal tract get to grab food in its closest-to-original state.

The bacteria in our mouth gets first shot.

The creatures scattered around our body away from the digestive tract get the “leftovers” that all our cells use for nourishment.


If I was a “guest” cell inside a human host’s mouth I think I would wave my flagella with eager anticipation if I saw the following coming my way:


“Hey Coot!!! What the heck is a flagella?”

Oh, Hi. How yah’ doing? Eating well?

Flagella is the plural for flagellum. Basically, flagella is tiny bacteria “legs” that allow them to move around.

Here… have a nifty gif that shows flagella in action.





Look at that critter go!!!

Bacteria make baby bacteria asexually… by splitting in half and each going their own way.





Okay, enough science and kinky minute critter uhhh not copulating.
It’s vittles time!!!


















I betcha’ some “pink slime” would put those in-mouth critters in a tizzy. Paroxysms of delight!!


Say “Hi” to those horde of guests dwelling inside you.

And remember you are eating for MANY critters, not just yourself.


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