Food For Fat Folks

Hello fellow food lovers

“Hello yourself you old curmudgeon.”

I am still huddled in my humble hovel in southern Missouri atop the Ozark Plateau.


There it is… the western outpost of the Appalachian hillbillies and various neer-do-wells.

If you are ever seeking an area with a horde of folks proud of their ignorance and constantly strive to increase that ignorance and are proud to display it– y’all just mosey over to this neck of the woods and hunker down for a spell.

Of course, I am writing in generalities and am forced to get as close to the USA average 8th-grade reading comprehension-level as possible to maximize the number of folks able to read and, maybe, understand my messages.

This is a frikken’ blog, not a doctoral treatise that will be peer reviewed!!!

It is a rare treat, however, to meet a human with some intelligence and strives to be different from the many sub-humans infesting this locale.

This area is also the home of a horde of behemoths.

Not just fat folks but whale-sized gargantuan people who possess enough fat to make a walrus swimming in the frigid Bering Sea envious of the insulating properties possessed by those porcine people.

Your humble writer, a Disgruntled Old Coot extraordinaire, has not always been the svelte, Adonis-like handsome hunk of man as I am now.

Young Coot

Getting Older Coot

Confused Coot

Not long ago I handled several stressful situations by shoveling wonderful, tasty, yummy food into my mouth at a prodigious rate.

In other words, I filled my belly regularly and with too much food and much of that food conveyed a large amount of calories. More calories in than the amount burned off.

Even at my heaviest I was FAR from being as lard-laden as the many engorged blubbery super-fat folks in this bastion of ignorance and excessive food consumption.

Around these parts the addictions exist but the three big ones appear to be food, alcohol and methamphetamine.

Make it four if ignorance-striving is an addiction.

Folks, that is the general overview of life in this locale.

There are many negatives to experience living here but it is a low-cost area compared to much of the USA.

The low costs are accompanied by the low pay in general; especially for the large population of working-poor folks.

This area also seems to be at the end of the food distribution networks.

Local grocery stores have mediocre selection offerings and the produce is the lowest quality I have seen in any part of the USA.

The prices are disgustingly high; perhaps due, in part, to the transportation costs to get the vittles to this area.

There are farmer’s markets ’round these parts but the local veggie growers take advantage of the ultra-high grocery store prices and price their veggies far more than what they are worth.

If only I wasn’t so physically impaired I would rejoice at being able to create and tend a garden in my shanty’s back yard.

I had a super-nifty garden up in Nebraska but that was before the several physical disabilities hit me like a meteor impacting a planet. Ouch.

Thus I am forced to rely upon food sold by others.

So what did I start all this writing for anyway?

I did want to add a new entry in this blog.

My writing efforts lately have been in my other blogs.

There are many Web sites with dieting advice so I will not bore you with that stuff.

Oh, why not.

Diet; eat less than what your body burns to keep you alive.

Stop when you have lost the desired weight.

Then eat an amount to keep you at the desired weight level.

You are welcome.

Coot thinking about next meal

Can you spot the Young Coot?

Even if forced to eat a lesser amount of food than what you want to eat there are things you can do to make that smaller food amount seem to be more than what is on your plate.

Time for a break… back in a bit.

Hi, I am back!!!

It has been a few days but I am a man of my word so I moseyed back to give you folks some tips to reduce the amount of vittles you shovel in.

No guarantee, however.

I will use one of those list things the experts state readers enjoy so much.

Disgruntled Old Coot Tips to Reduce Food Intake

  • Smaller portions
  • Use a smaller plate, bowl, whatever than normally used.
  • Eat very slowly.
  • Drink a zero calorie beverage to help fill the belly
  • Eat stuff you do not enjoy the taste of
  • Eat healthy!!! Ample low-cal veggies
  • Do not eat alone
  • Talk a lot while eating
  • Try to make a meal last a looong time

Okay you tubs of lard.

Food is becoming ever-more expensive. Eat less and save some money for when your job is sent overseas to make the USA wealthy and powerful elite ruling class even wealthier!!!

Another method to reduce caloric intake is to start eating food you do not enjoy eating!!! If you are thin you are likely eating enjoyable food that is not high in calories and you are eating the proper amount.

But, you waddling walrus-like lard-laden blobs of blubber need to reduce or shun those fattening foods you love to eat.

Yes, it will be difficult but do you really want to weigh as much as a small planet?

Get to it!!!!!


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